Nothing says “you matter to me” like a toenail clipper decorated with the Falkland Island penguins, in my opinion. I would start evaluating my importance to loved ones based on the souvenirs they bring me from their vacations if only I didn’t understand how much of a headache it is to select trinkets. The endless … More Souvenirs Are Stupid And I Want All Of Them
In a way, I chose to drink too much at a formal event four hours before getting on a plane to Los Angeles. Because something horrible always happens when I travel, I figured I could at least make the token bad decision one I had control over. Given that a thirty-thousand-mile-high hangover over the state … More The Plane At LAX
I have an in-progress ranking of situations that make me want to fast-forward my slow march into oblivion. Before yesterday, speaking to customer service fell somewhere between getting pantsed in public and having to walk toward a passing acquaintance from opposite ends of a deserted hallway, unable to decipher when to acknowledge the other person. … More Good Customer Service Or In A Simulation?
I can’t say for sure how I had the premonition that something would go awry when trying a new intercity bus service, but I have a feeling it was from when Mom, excitedly, said she’d paid just $1 for the ticket. And maybe it was also the whole “trying something new.” Bad omens need not … More Never Try New Things, Especially an Intercity Bus