I don’t seek out thrills like haunted houses or scary movies or campfire horror stories because if I wanted to inflict unnecessary pain on myself, I’d hold Mom’s spot in a quickly moving Costco checkout line as she goes to find the cheese Danishes. Or I’d leave myself alone in the dark with my thoughts. … More The Real Halloween Scare Is My Biological Clock
I have an in-progress ranking of situations that make me want to fast-forward my slow march into oblivion. Before yesterday, speaking to customer service fell somewhere between getting pantsed in public and having to walk toward a passing acquaintance from opposite ends of a deserted hallway, unable to decipher when to acknowledge the other person. … More Good Customer Service Or In A Simulation?
You can tell I’ve been feeling down lately from my face looking more drained than usual or sometimes I just hint at it by saying “I’ve been feeling down lately.” What could I possibly be sad about? I mean, it’s the summer. It’s the summer before senior year of college. It’s the summer before I … More Take A Hike, It’s Not A Race
People talk about “catching themselves” being unproductive, and I don’t get it. I “catch myself” glancing at the bus window’s emergency hammer when someone asks me what I’m going to do with my life. I don’t “catch myself” being useless. I’m a knowing accomplice. I aid and abet. I see my keeping up with the … More 11 Steps: How To Be Productive When You’d Rather Stop Existing