7 Excuses For My Ungodly Messy Room

Like the history of man, nature’s seasons, and hordes of moms wearing “Partners in Wine” T-shirts to their indoor bikes at 5AM, my bedroom exists in cycles. The cycle goes thus:

  1. I have a messy room that I don’t organize because I think it’ll be a lot of work.
  2. When I can no longer stand myself, I clean my room, picking up the clothes and papers strewn on the floor and putting them back where they belong.
  3. I feel like a new person on a fresh start.
  4. The start is too fresh. I follow no part of my organization system because it’s a lot of work.

messy room, clean my room, messy rooms before and after

Relapse, repeat.

Some people who’ve visited my room have told me my room isn’t that bad. Again, stages. No one’s witnessed my room at its most chaotic, because, sad as it may be, I’ve always at least managed to contain some of the mess (via towel/drawer/bed/some combination of those) even from surprise visitors.

After my business law final, I decided this time would be different, as I do every time. I’d deep-clean. I’d be ruthless. I’d use the Marie Kondo method that everyone keeps talking about. The “KonMari” way is supposed to declutter your home by better organizing your belongings and getting rid of ones that don’t “spark joy” for you. That said, I’ll skeptically temper my expectations for the following reasons.

  1. Nothing brings me joy.

I kid, I kid. It would make cleaning my room a lot easier if I just threw everything away, though.

  1. I think too much.

Me: This shirt says “I Mustache You A Question” and I want to burn it with fire.

Also me: What of the scenario in which there’s a middle school costume party?

Me: Oh, right.

Me: How would I wear this long-sleeved crop top that looks good only with this other specific article of clothing I similarly never wear?

Also me: What of the scenario in which you’ve just emerged from a sauna but someone kicks you in the stomach and you need to ice that area?

Me: Good point.

Me: I don’t look good in this maxi dress.

Also me: What of the scenario in which you do?

Me: I have no choice but to follow this logic.

  1. Entropy.

 A couple months ago, Mom insisted on bringing me a longer desk so I could fit more on its surface. I protested. I said I knew myself. I said the surface area of the table doesn’t matter at all because so many things pile up where I don’t put my laptop and I end up with the same amount of no workspace.

She didn’t believe me.

messy room, clean my room, messy rooms before and after

  1. I want to be prepared.

I’ve picked up the occasional screw and nail throughout the school year. But since I cleaned the whole apartment, I’ve amassed a collection of several important-looking fasteners as well as unidentifiable parts from some… household contraptions? The screws, especially make me incredibly nervous as to where they’ve come from.

But logically, keeping them somewhere doesn’t really make a difference. It’s not like I’d ever find out if the ceiling fan falls on my head and crushes me one day.

  1. There’s a system.

Just because everything looks like it’s strewn haphazardly on the carpet and actually is that way, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to find things. When Mom moved me in, she relocated some possessions in the name of organization and I couldn’t find things for days.

Capture

  1. Inconvenient hope.

When I was young three years ago, I entered university eagerly accepting and even seeking out free T-shirts and food. At least my disillusionment by school-sponsored Domino’s (I tried Pizza Hut and can never go back, though I’m still a Domino’s spinach & feta thin crust advocate) didn’t result in me keeping anything permanent. Besides the indignity, I mean.

I haven’t really sought out T-shirts in a year and now run from people trying to hand me any. Yet I still have nearly 40 T-shirts. One says “Last night a taco saved my life,” and I still don’t understand.

  1. My utter lack of shame.

 While I did keep lots of clothes I didn’t want because Mom would inadvertently guilt me into considering how much they’d cost in effort and/or money, I think a big reason is the lack of shaming accountability. In college, you don’t have friends who remind you of your humanity. You have enablers who say “oh, don’t worry, my room looks even worse.”

Below is a Konmari method before and after picture. (The Marie Kondo folding socks method is simple. You fold ankle socks into thirds and stand them up, though I did mine vertically instead of horizontally because I overestimated the needed space. You fold mid-length socks into fourths. You roll up tights and place them swirl-up. Short video linked for more Marie Kondo tips.)

messy room, konmari method before and after, marie kondo folding socks, tidy room tidy mind, marie kondo tipskonmari method before and after, marie kondo folding socks, tidy room tidy mind, marie kondo tips

I took progress pictures of my spotless carpet. And then after taking those pictures, I moved all my furniture, still cluttered, back into view.

As they say, “tidy room, tidy mind,” and obviously, we can’t have that.

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Last post: A Spoonful of Sugar, Or Sixteen


8 thoughts on “7 Excuses For My Ungodly Messy Room

  1. I too am an entropic mess person, in that I will spread out in whatever space you give me, no matter how big or small. I try to make a system but ultimately with our cleanliness style (or therefore lack of), you just have to schedule periodic clean-ups to cover up our slovenliness.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Messy seems to be my default level of cleanliness. Whenever I try to clean it’s usually when I have bursts of energy, and then I end up convincing myself that it’s just going to get messy again 3 days later. 3 days later rolls around and I cannot be bothered to go through the hellish 8-hour cleaning routine again. Apparently I don’t know how to do “light cleaning.” This is why I adapted the minimalism concept: the less crap I own, the less crap there is to organize.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Minimalism takes time, so it’s OK to feel this way. The easiest way to go about this is to implement awareness at the cash register. Pay with cash. Use up all of your makeup before you buy more etc.

        Sadly, minimalism has turned me into a boring adult (the downside). What used to bring me joy no longer does once I realized what I was buying was junk or clutter or wants (not needs).

        Liked by 1 person

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